Reading Sara Schaefer’s preview of the upcoming Real World: Brooklyn, I’m stunned by how it might not totally suck (and face it, you stopped watching around the Las Vegas season, too; everything went downhill after the glorious moment when Brynn threw the fork at that guy*) … and how it might actually be worth wasting time on.

But it got me to thinking, about the good old days, and might I shove you down memory lane, for some of those great moments when so many strangers were picked to live in houses?

• Boston: When Montana (whose wimpy boyfriend, y’know, the one she cheated on? is named ‘Vaj’) let a child drink wine, thusly getting herself fired
  
  Montana looks pretty good here, I must say, but I do wonder just how messed up those kids are today. WHERE ARE YOU NOW, Kids from that Afterschool??
  
  (Really, though, Syrus was pretty great at that job. ::melt::)
• New Orleans: ‘Come On Be My Baby Tonight’
  
  Anytime, David. Anytime.
• Miami: The very existence of that guy Joe
  
  Say what you will about his diminutive stature, and the girlfriend who was constantly effing up his world, and his genuinely adorable, blatant nerdiness … but a man’s gotta have balls to walk around in a Snoopy t-shirt all the damn time!

• S**TTL*: Ican’tmentionthiswithoutfearoflawsuit … but …
  
  And you know you remember that.
• London: When the heckler bit Neil’s tongue off
  

  First off, I have a crush on Neil, but how intense was this? To have your tongue bitten of f while French kissing a stranger during a performance of your screamo-punk band Unilever??? And then (because a missing tongue does not clear speech make), spending the rest of the season doing his confessionals with a voice synthesizer?
  
  And also: “Neil’s girlfriend of five years, Chrys, communicated her feelings on the relationship by mailing him a pig’s heart embedded with steel nails as a Valentine’s Day gift”
  
  Where is he now? Apparently he has an alterego … named … wait for it … Shadecore.

  Damn. I love Neil.

• Los Angeles: When Tami had her jaw wired shut in order to lose weight
  
  Seriously?
  (And also, yay for this entire cast, mostly Dominic, Irene, John the Cowboy, and Lesbian Beth, definitely not Beth-the-bitch.)

CAN YOU THINK OF ANY MORE?

* whose name is either Stephen or Steven; I don’t really care to look it up, because my energy is reserved for preemptively correcting my possible typo in a long-winded footnote, while watching the first season of Top Chef (and retrospectively upgrading my initial opinion of Katie Lee Joel, in light of the fact that Padma Lakshmi strikes me as a uniquely heinous bitch with an all-too-high opinion of herself), and figuring out what to shove into my face for dinner.