And so, with full-time employment on the weekly agenda (a very bright and spirited one, at that), I can only offer my last pitiful, thankful, mixed-feely memorial of my past 8 months of part-timefulness, my Lost Weekend of Semi-Ployment:

For gone are the days of:

• The Temp Agency, who provided me with the brief (and therefore hilarifying) productivity I craved.
• Peru and The South for letting me tear your salads; powder-sugar your alfajores; sell your handicrafts; serve your collards and duck; and eat the best shrimp and grits that ever did shrimpgrit.
• Having needles surged through my feeble arteries; slinging cappuccinos; listening to a poo-smeared 2-year-old wail, “WIPE!” as she leans over in bathroom fluorescents.

Thank you:

• OpiuMom, for everything and everything and everything.
• Fig, for not failing me on many-a-mile.

And oh how I will miss my daytime TV judges. … Marian Milian, Usted oscila mis calcetines.