• Olives (per Oprah):
  As I’ve failed to see anything but pure delight on her face as she’d crush a full jar in my sight-and-smell range, Oprah will just pound those bitches.
  While black olives are sometimes remotely tolerable*, they are, by and large, guilty of leaving their olive stink on every animal, vegetable, and/or mineral within a tri-fridge-shelf area.**
  And green olives? Yea, about them, I read somewhere, maybe on Wikipedia? They’re The Gastronomic Devil Incarnate, so, I dunno, facts are facts. Do with them what you wish.
• The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade:
  I’ll look at the still shots, especially if Garfield*** or Woody Woodpecker or someone’s decided to end his life, heliumily, in a tree or building somewhere, or if Gomez Addams happens to take a cool pic of some****, but … hold on … yawwwwwwn … er, excuse me, I just … zzzzzz ……
  Oh, sorry, were we talking about the prolonged parade interspersed with “witty” commentary? Sorry, sorry, I just …  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ……………………….
• Taking Back Sunday (per IdiotWordMan):
  In his own words, “I was a teenager once,” too, but … seriously.
• The smell of falling rain on freshly cut grass (per OpiuMom):
  Considering that it’s late summer in Florida, guess what I smell all. the. time!
  Let it be noted, though, that OpiuMom also likes the smell of gasoline, and that I, while not a smoker, enjoy the smell of second-hand smoke, our opinions are equally suspect.

Feel free to add some more after the jump, and I’ll address those with my superior logic.

…

* In a minimal, chopped-up, covered-in-extra-cheese-on-a-massive-pizza kind of way

** Ditto for capers. Eff you, capers!

*** The Heathcliff v. Garfield debate is a blog post waiting to happen, and, yet, I don’t know which way I’d vote. Garfield’s your go-to guy, as painfully (to put it nicely) nonchalant as he may be, but Heathcliff is like, I dunno, kind of how Brad Pitt is only attractive to me when he’s Fight Club-ishly scruffy. Riffraff v. Life of Complacency. Tough choice.

**** And perhaps update his sorely neglected but healingly wonderful blog

How about nobody talks to me today because, hey hey!, guess what day it is!

B-E-E!

Srsly, plz; the Bee is on ESPN2. No diversions ’til tomorrow*.

I still wish Justin Song could come back to win. …

Oy, the bitterness.

Today’s Florida Summer Rain accentuates the b-i-t-t-e-r-s-w-e-e-t-n-e-s-s.

Oh, Justin Song. How I wanted you to win. …

* Or ‘Til Tuesday, because, HUSH HUSH. Keep it down now. Voices carry.

Dear Aisle 16 (10 items or less) Boca Raton Whole Foods cashier:

As I sit here, stealing your store’s Internet, I have a direct view of you.

What’s your name? What are you doing tonight? I like your green t-shirt.

Should I buy something else, just so I can check you out? Er, check out in your lane?

With tentative, unsolicited, and imaginary adoration,

LQA

Today’s moving day! And I am unpacked! And too engrossed in The Golden Girls to really pull my act together! But once I do, I can sit out on the lanai with the best of them! Yay, Florida! Yay, Golden Girls!

“Miami, you’re cuter than …

… an interuteran. …”

… but I’ve been preparing for the Swap, and packing for my move!

I’m set to be a born-again Floridian!

Q: How many shades of insane will LQA turn when she spends 12 pm Tues.-7 am Wed.[!!!!!] driving from South Florida to NC, with no heat in her car, an un-chill kitten, a radiant desire to remain near the beach, a slight supply of dollars, a single [albeit awesome] Flight of the Conchords CD for her listening pleasure, and a double shift of work starting at 9 am the following — ha, excuse me — same morning?

Huzzah!

Rita’s Italian Ice is installing SEVERAL locations in my homespace, South Florida.

BOOM!

…

Yea, see, I have so much stuff to do tonight before I head down to Florida for Thanksgiving, with screaming kitten in tow, but instead, I have focused not on packing or whatevs, but picking out a travel outfit.

And at what point do I realize that I am not an adult? Or remotely sane? It’s when:

• I offend my own aesthetic sensibilities by giving into (and purchasing) the Puffy Vest;
• decide on a hot pink ‘FIERCE’ t-shirt and mini-skirt;
• cannot decide between teal leggings or striped gray legwarmers;
• am knitting a scarf, packing some cat toys, and drinking the last of a bottle of Amazin zinfandel (which my brother-in-law very kindly taught my coordination-impaired self to open last night);
• watching Seinfeld;
• blogging;
• and deciding which books and crossword puzzles I need to bring for my trip (because I already decided on the coloring book that I’d like to complete with OpiuMom).